Leaving Los Angeles and the 80/20 rule

After six years in Los Angeles, I am finally leaving to move to San Diego. This is the longest I have ever lived in any city, and unlike last year’s move to the east coast, this is definite and with a set time frame. I’m moving into an apartment and signed a lease, have my things packed up and a plan of where to go and what to do if everything blows up so that I don’t end up sleeping on subway trains anymore, and I have my friends and family to watch my back, no matter where we all are in the world.

I may be alone in this new environment, but I love a new challenge, especially when I’m going in to become a stronger and better hero, ready to power up and save the world.

Out of nearly one hundred invitees, eight showed up, a little over a couple dozen replied to send their good wishes or that they had other priorities, and the rest were caught up in their lives.

This is a positive affirmation for me, actually, as it reminds me of an application for the 80/20 rule: why should I spend my time being upset about the 80% who didn’t show up or even respond when my time and energy is better spent on those who did show up and those who at least responded to give good wishes?

For me, that’s gold right there. I have a few people who truly care and respect me, and I’m not really saying goodbye–there is no such thing as goodbye for me unless I’m giving someone the finger and walking away. I’m not giving anyone the finger though, actually–I’ve no reason to.

Life just happens, and people have their own lives to live. Priorities need to be set, and whatever comes first needs to be decided on, and sometimes, other people may be directly or indirectly affected as a consequences of these decisions. I don’t care, because I do the same thing to others, whether it’s not returning a phone call for a couple weeks because I’m so busy that I don’t write it down in my planner that I need to return a call, and it hurts them. I feel guilty about it and know I can’t take back those days where they felt disrespected or unloved, but I never meant it to be that way.

With that recent situation alone, how can I be upset with the 80% who neither showed up nor responded? It’s nothing personal. To be a little more sardonic about it, I don’t need to waste my energy missing people who don’t care enough to show up or respond, since they obviously won’t miss me! 😉 Besides: I’m leaving and I live in the real world, not in half-hearted Facebook interactions. I won’t see or interact with anyone in or from L.A. unless I want to– or if they stalk me in San Diego. 😉

It’s the same thing whenever I move between groups: get tired of people in one circle and move to the next one, and I’m good. Tired of taiko crowd? Take a step back and hang with people in my other passions, whether it’s parkour or acting. Different crowd and energy, and a good way to see whenever I feel disconnected usually isn’t about me, it’s about trying to move where it’s better for me. This is especially true when I travel: everyone else and the environment are all behind me, and nobody in my new location know about my past or attachments, so it’s a fresh start and good way to make new connections and feel like I belong again.

My send-off was greater because for those who came, there was a summer solstice festival being celebrated with live soul music and performances in front of the venue. I could have come and stayed the whole time without a single friend coming and I would have been happy, because it’s the universe giving a gift to me to send me off properly with a festival that coincides with the day I planned to be my send-off.

I’ll miss the friends I’ve made in school and my activities, the people who remember me in the Persian ice cream parlor, the restaurants and other establishments I frequent, the bike trail from Santa Monica to Venice, the Temple of Self-Realization, my reflective spot on the Santa Monica Pier and pocket universe by the turnaround entrance to Sunset Rec pools on the bench, and all the adventures I have around the city.

I look forward to finding new spots and friends, because I know I’ll be back here if I want to, and there’s also more of a world to see. It’s never goodbye, it’s just “see you later” for me. We have the rest of our lives to be friends and hang out, and it doesn’t have to always be in Los Angeles. I’ve moved around all of my life between countries and as much as I used to curse being here, I’ve grown to appreciate it like I eventually do for other places I’ve lived in. Very soon, I may add San Diego to that list, and if not, there are more cities to check out, but I am certain I will at least make more memories and friends from my time in graduate school.

Let’s see what the next phase in life brings now that I’m all packed up and ready to go.

So long ellay

3 responses to “Leaving Los Angeles and the 80/20 rule

  1. Johnny, I wish you a good luck with new adventure in San Diego.

  2. Always a wanderer. The whole world is his home.

  3. Thank you friends! I will see you around soon, whether it’s in one corner of the world or the other. One thing is for sure beyond that: we are definitely going to have fun. 😉

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